


Catullus 109

by NotManTheLessButNatureMore



Series: I Love You [7]
Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 12:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16953936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotManTheLessButNatureMore/pseuds/NotManTheLessButNatureMore
Summary: “I wouldn’t want anything else.”





	Catullus 109

**Joy of my life! you tell me this -**

**that nothing can possibly break this love of ours for each**

**other.**

**God let her mean what she says,**

**from a candid heart,**

**that our two lives may be linked in their length**

**day to day,**

**each to each,**

**in a bond of sacred fidelity.**

\- Catullus 109

 

*********************************

 

Robin had been standing at the window in their living room when he came in. Their flat was on the sixth floor of a modest building in South London but thankfully the lift had not yet broken down. Beyond the townhouses on the other side of the road the view was certainly nicer than the one he’d had at Denmark Street. There was a park at the end of the road, not an amenity Strike would usually prize but the mid morning walks he and Robin would take on a rare day off were one of the highlights of his week. Linked arm in arm, Robin blatantly trying to steal some of his body heat as the winter drew in, they would stroll around for the time it took to finish their coffees.

 

He had surprised himself one morning, watching Robin intently as her eyes were drawn to a toddler running away from his mother, when suddenly an image of Robin pushing a stroller infiltrated his mind. She was wrapped up in a green coat, dark scarf hiding her red nose, a coffee was perched in the cup holder of a dark blue stroller. A light blue blanket was visible, covering squirming legs, but before he could get a look at anything more the image was dashed from his thoughts and Robin was calling his name as they approached a divergence in the path.

 

The image had plagued him for days afterwards. The quiet happiness that had first overwhelmed him, both at the image of Robin as a mother and at the surprising feeling of contentment he had felt for the first time ever in the face of fatherhood, had soon given way to a deeper unknown feeling. _Why wasn’t he with them?_

 

The old prickly feeling of doubt had taken hold, something his mind often summoned in the face of happiness. He knew it was irrational and he knew that Robin’s countless displays of love should reassure him, but he also knew that his fractured childhood and unstable family had instilled in him a sense of isolation. A sense of the inevitable, of always ending up alone at the final hurdle. No matter how many people were only a phone call away, the nights would still be silent. The sound of a beer can opening, the scrape of a match and the rustle of useless pages would offer no company. He would always end up only one mistake away from the bedsits his mother’s life had amounted to.

 

For the first time since Robin and he had finally been honest with each other and admitted how they felt a single thought plummeted from Strike’s chest to the bottom of his stomach. _What if she leaves?_

 

He knew that even if somehow the fire was smothered and they parted ways amicably, even if both were assured that their relationship had run its course, he would always count Robin as his greatest love. This period would always be the spring and summer of his life.

 

Robin turned from the window and smiled.

 

“I thought you’d never come home.” Strike returned Robin’s smile as his breath stumbled about in his chest.

 

“I love you.” He blurted out, wanting to say it a thousand times. Every ‘I love you’ held a different weight, according to the moment, and this one felt heavy as it left his mouth.

 

There was something about this love that was different than any other he had felt. He didn’t have to work hard at it, the daily trials of a relationship were hard work sure, but not the love. The love came easy.

 

“Are you okay?” The light was catching her hair the way it always did. Her face was soft and pale. She was hugging a blanket around her shoulders and her familiar smile brought a fire to his chest.

 

“Yes.” She could see something in his eyes and walked forward to take a hold of his coat collar. Strike settled his hand on her waist.

 

To have someone that knew you; this, he had come to realise, was the most important thing of all. To sit together in a crowded room and exchange nothing more than a glance, but in that glance make clear to everyone in the room that you know each other completely and all those moments have mounted up.

 

At a loss to express the jumble of thoughts in his mind Strike reverted to the old reliable.

 

“I love you.” His voice sounded quiet to his ears and Robin pulled him close to her.

 

“I love you too.” She put a hand on his shoulder and pulled herself up onto her tippy toes to give him a kiss.

 

“Do you ever… do you think about the future much? About our future?” At the last minute Strike hoped to himself that he wasn’t planting a seed of doubt in her mind.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Last month I had a dream that you sat on a dog-“

 

“What?!”

 

Robin’s face lit up as she spoke.

 

“We had this tiny little puppy, a Labrador, oh it was so cute Cormoran! Anyway, it was sitting on the couch and you… well you sat on it.”

 

“You dream about me killing our pets?”

 

“You didn’t kill it. I nearly killed you though.”

 

Strike pulled her closer and breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

 

“And how long until I have to clean up after a puppy?”

 

“Well you were completely grey so I guess we have some time. Unless that Madigan case really takes its toll.” Robin grinned.

 

“Grey?” Strike feigned offence.

 

“Don’t worry, you looked good.” Robin brushed his hair, in need of a cut, from his forehead.

 

Strike couldn’t help but let out a steady breath.

 

“So you’d put up with me for all those years? Me and a puppy?”

 

Robin’s smile faded and she paused a moment, searching his eyes. He saw her gaze harden and turn more serious.

 

“I wouldn’t want anything else.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for all your comments (and kudos) on my last work 'I do not think I would' - they were so lovely and genuinely meant a lot :)


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